Life Is a Funny Novella

Poor sentence structure suggests that the key to immortality has been found. A report from the National Center for Health Statistics (2011) states, “During the past decade, overall death rates have declined by 8% for this [over 65] age group.” (see Page 61)

It sounds like some elixir has been discovered. HSN will soon offer it for $19.95 plus shipping. However, it just means that that “baby boomers” have arrived.

• National Center for Health Statistics / Health, United States, 2010 With Special Feature on Death and Dying / Hyattsville MD 2011.

If visiting Milwaukee WI, and asked, “What will you have?” The only answer is, “A Miller”

Any other answer will provoke the statement, “You ain’t from around here, are you?” The statement is always made in a loud voice, focusing every pair of eyes on you. Hopefully, you will have remembered the location of the nearest exit.

I stupidly answered, “cheese pizza”. Although each word by itself would not madden locals (after all, Wisconsin Cheese is world famous), the two words used together fingered me as a vegetarian. I did make it to the exit.